a breakthrough?

I have been very tired.
Struggling with somethings and just not finding much relief.
Monday night I was especially distraught so I read my Bible but still was not encouraged, until Tuesday.
Tuesday God blessed me with a good day, everything ran smoothly, I got to go for a much needed bike ride- smell the coming rain- listen to some new worship songs I had discovered.
Then something happened Tuesday night. Here's what I wrote in my journal~
"Jan. 27, 2009
I was in my Politics of Palestine class and the prof was explaining how to write an essay. "Seriously? We're Rollins students, it's a 300 level course which consists mainly of juniors and seniors, let's hope we know how to write an essay!" I thought. This lead to a train of thought on how much I love writing, and English, and especially literature. I was filled with passion, joy, and inspiration just at the thought :). Then I heard myself say (in my head) "that's why you should be an English major, you were given a passion and a talent in this area for a reason." The thoughts didn't seem to come from me yet I heard no other voice. I felt a peace, a rightness, and a growing excitement that built throughout the time I was in class. I did not feel as if I was wasting my time in these international affairs classes though, I would use them, and learn from them, just not as an international affairs major. For the first time in a long while I felt like I was exactly where I needed to be. Is this You Lord? Are you answering my prayers in this way?"
So I don't know. I would like to believe that it was the Lord speaking to me, and I hope He will bring further conformation if so.

(Ironically, this was the section of scripture I was reading Monday night but it didn't really sink in until I reread it Tuesday night.)

"To whom will you compare me?
Or who is my equal?" says the Holy One.

Lift your eyes and look to the heavens:
Who created all these?
He who brings out the starry host one by one,
and calls them each by name.
Because of his great power and mighty strength,
not one of them is missing.

Why do you say, O Jacob,
and complain, O Israel,
"My way is hidden from the LORD;
my cause is disregarded by my God"?

Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.

He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.

Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;

but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint."

~Isaiah 40:25-31
God is so good!

And here's a new worship song I discovered last night:

"Beautiful are the words spoken to me
Beautiful is the one who speaking

Come in close, come in close and speak
Come in close, come closer to me

Beautiful are the words spoken to me
Beautiful is the one who speaking

The power of your words are filled with grace and mercy
Let them fall on my ears and break my stony heart"
~"Closer" Charlie Hall

P.S.
God WILL see me through! It doesn't matter how I feel, this is just another opportunity for me to lay my emotions on the alter and let Him burn them up. I am His, who am I to want anything else? My Savior is more than enough.

P.S.S.
(more song lyrics, sorry but it just started playing on my itunes and it's too good not to share!)

"Rich or poor God I want You more
Than anything that glitters in this world
Be my all, all consuming fire

You can have all my hands can hold
My heart, mind, strength and soul
Be my all, all consuming fire

We have all we need in You
And all we need is You
All we need is You

All we need, all we need, all we need is You
All we need, all we need, all we need is You"
~All We Need" Charlie Hall