John 12:28

A little sparkle of revelation:
God's glory is ultimately in His hands.

I admit, I've been embarrassed for God.  Every time we prayed for Uncle Doug's healing and nothing happened, I felt shame.  "God!  This is Your moment.  Why do you allow my family to believe You don't answer prayer?"  Of course, I wanted God to heal my uncle, I wanted to be angry at Him for letting Uncle Doug suffer, but that's a different story.  It was in God's best interest to physically save my uncle, right?  It was God's moment to prove His love and power and glorify His name....

Today I remembered John 12:28-
“I have glorified it, and I will glorify it again.”

I am not burdened with the responsibility of God's glory.  Only He can glorify Himself as He deserves; I get to play a part, but need never be ashamed of the way God chooses to reveal His glory.

I realized this today, and it brought me great comfort.  God will not allow His name to be defiled, and I can trust Him in that.

Bitterness

Well, I thought I'd been through this already.  I had (here's proof:  http://www.behindthepurpleprose.blogspot.com/2009/05/i-do-understand-i-know-now.html  ), but not fully.

I've been reading through Isaiah the past few months, and today I finished.  Isaiah 66:9 is a well read verse in my Bible, but the truth hasn't yet taken hold of me, still.  I've let bitterness well up inside of my heart like a pool of poison.  I've played the victim and denied the life and joy God gave to me.

"Shall I bring to the point of birth and not cause to bring forth?
says the Lord;
Shall I, who cause to bring forth, shut the womb?
says your God." 


God brings life, not death, from our pain.  But I didn't, and sometimes still don't, trust His promise.  I was like a pregnant woman expecting a miscarriage.  I didn't go shopping for baby clothes, dream of what name I would give my child, count down the days until my little one would be born, grab someone's hand excitedly and place it on my belly when I felt the baby kick... when I was ill with morning sickness, exhausted, in pain, I suffered without hope or anticipating joy.  It would all amount to nothing.  What was the point?  Nothing would come from my pain but death.

I've called God a liar.  But God does not lie.  He does not bring me through the pain of labor for nothing.  Life is growing within me, God will birth new life from me.  He will not shut the womb.

This changes everything.  In hope I can suffer and yet rejoice because the pain means new life is coming.    My God does not let me suffer for nothing.  He is not cruel.  He speaks tenderly to me.  He restores my soul.  He has given me a beautiful inheritance.  He deals bountifully with me.

Hallelujah.

Grace Active

Lord Jesus, Great High Priest,
Thou hast opened a new and living way
  by which a fallen creature can approach thee with acceptance.
Help me to contemplate the dignity of thy Person,
                                                     the perfectness of thy sacrifice,
                                                     the effectiveness of thy intercession.
O what blessedness accompanies devotion,
  when under all the trials that weary me,
                               the cares that corrode me,
                               the fears that disturb me,
                               the infirmities that oppress me,
**I can come to thee in my need
and feel peace beyond understanding!**
The grace that restores is necessary to preserve,
       lead, guard, supply, help me.
And here thy saints encourage my hope;
   they were once [poor] and are now rich,
                           [bound] and are now free,
                           [tried] and are now victorious.
Every new duty call for more grace than I now possess,
    but NOT more than is found in thee, the divine treasury
    in whom all (fullness) dwells.
To THEE I repair for grace upon grace,
    until every void made by sin be replenished
    and I am (filled) with all thy (fullness.)
May my desires be enlarged and my hopes emboldened,
    that I may honour thee by my *entire* dependency
    and the greatness of my expectation.
Do thou be with me, and prepare me for all
     the smiles of prosperity, the frowns of adversity,
     the losses of substance, the death of friends,
     the days of darkness, the changes of life,
     and the last great change of all.
May I find grace sufficient for all my needs.

                                                                     -The Valley of Vision

I love how articulate the Puritans were.