A Confession

Rough day. My heart is heavy and my mind worn down. I need to release some creative and comical expression, and so, my confession: Since I can remember, I've desperately wanted to be a whale, for a day.
No seriously, This is legit; I've put much thought into it. My jealously of whale life is immense.

I'd kill to be an orca, the hottest whale in the sea. I mean, look at this baby jump! And just for the fun of it. They're not all fun and games however, you're looking at a seriously violence-prone animal (what!? Shamu? Willy?). Um, Killer whale for a reason kids.

Say hello to Moby. Sperm whales rock a flippin 20 pound brain (thus why Ahab couldn't out-smart em!), the largest brain of any animal. ever. but don't tease them, they're sensitive, emotional souls (I'm not making this up).

Blue whales are the largest animals on God's green (and blue) earth. Try 108ft on for size. I'd flip to be one of these giant Lone Rangers for a day!

Just. look. at. this. dude.... I love him. Bowhead whales sing continually, and live up to 200 years. no joke. It's a good thing too, because these fantastical creatures are endangered thanks to idiots who think they make good mounts.

What is there to say? Who WOULDN'T want to be a narwhal?!?!?

And yet, (call me sentimental), I want to spend a day as a humpback whale most of all. These softies have a 300 pound, 4 chamber heart and a massive tail and fins (the better to flop about above water, my dear!) The loudest singer and most agile acrobat, the humpback wins.