My Life

"Sometimes I wonder about my life. I live a small life, well, valuable, but small, and sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven't been brave? So much of what I do reminds me of something I read in a book once, when, shouldn't it be the other way around?" -You've Got Mail

God has literally flooded me with revelations this year and I'm not sure how to take hold of them all, or how to express them. I want to know how to apply them.

The loss of Grant and Michael made me pause and look hard at my life. Youth is no excuse to ignore mortality. We don't know the measure of time granted us. Am I living in God's purpose? Am I walking, every moment, after Jesus? Does my life make sense in light of the gospel? C.S. Lewis said "you never know how much you really believe anything until its truth or falsehood becomes a matter of life and death to you." In a way, God's bringing me to that place, revealing the authenticity of my faith. "God has not been trying an experiment on my faith or love in order to find out their quality. He knew it already. It was I who didn't. He always knew that my temple was a house of cards. His only way of making me realize the fact was to knock it down" (another great illustration from Jack). Does my life make sense in light of the gospel? No. Not often. But this is my heart cry- "I want to know Christ- yes, to know the power of his resurrection, to share in his sufferings, and become like him in his death, that I might attain the resurrection from the dead.
Not that I have already obtained this, or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining towards what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus... Only let us hold true to what we have obtained." ~Phil 3:10-16 This is my mantra.

Aside from this, God has also been speaking something very new to me. My whole life, in one sense, consisted of "saying no," of resisting and refraining and waiting. But now, it's as if God wants me to say yes- and the word is almost foreign to me!

"To be perfectly frank, I'm getting exasperated with your infantile thinking. How long before you grow up and use your head- your adult head? It's all right to have a childlike unfamiliarity with evil; a simple no is all that's needed there. But there's far more to saying yes to something." ~I Cor. 14:20-22.

I know I'm kind of taking this verse out of context, but that "there's far more to saying yes to something" really struck me. Saying yes comes with a whole lot more than saying no.

I have become comfortable, and He's pulling me out of that. He's teaching me to walk.

Echo Language

eternity
certainly
handles an
Omniscient argot

To a Kid Who Speaks Fluent Coolness

Whale, David Andrew Mills is pretty swell. If I was as swell as he then I would now burst into brilliant song about his swellness, but that's the wonderful thing about DayDays, there's only one. ;)
And today he turns 16! Dude, this calls for a paper bag. If David's adorableness didn't interfere, Lizzy and I would kill him with jealousy for stealing all the best features of our parents, but he appeases us with "you're so pretty"s. It's just not fair. He swindled all the good-looking genes.
David, you're legit. It takes serious courage for a 16yr-old to live honestly, refusing to pretend whatever society requires for acceptance.
You get me; we think so much alike! Those, "wait, you too!?" moments are awesome.
Your knowledge of Jane Austen is impressive, most impressive.
You are quite quotable: "Let's make like the Beatles and walk in a line!"
You write brilliantly. So much for my $40,000 Rollins education.
Our balloon, blowing, and ice cube fights are legendary, just sayin'.
As is our late night cookie baking and song writing.
Back to stealing genes, you have all the hand-eye coordination. I gave up my portion for you. When you play pro ball, remember me.
You're a leader of men, and know when to put them in their place!
You're also my King Arthur (and Starbucks) buddy.
And I don't know where your mad piano skills came from but they're sick awesome and I'm jealous.

Anyway, all that to say, even though you forget when I'm picking you up from school and make me search for you, AND make me give you ICE cold water, AND make me work in the dark when I'm doing homework late, I still kinda love you ;).

Happy Birthday!!

Poetry Workshop: Ghazal

Ghazal: An Indian poetry form consisting of five or more couplets.
The second line of each couplet in a ghazal ends with the repetition of a refrain of one or a few words, preceded by a rhyme known as the qaafiyaa. In the first couplet, both lines end in the rhyme and refrain so that the ghazal's rhyme scheme is AA BA CA etc. Enjambment across lines or between couplets is not permitted in a strict ghazal; each couplet must be a complete sentence (or several sentences) in itself.


Ghazal: Guzzling Fame

120 million YouTube videos uploaded everything born on camera.
Icons were made- The Star Wars Kid, “That really hurt Charlie!” the Unicorn- on camera.

Yax’s blood flowed the wrong way for saving an assaulted woman.
No one helped. At least someone’s cell caught him, blade-torn, on camera.

We, Facebook famous, paste our life documentaries online.
If all are famous, no one is. We’re reduced to porn on camera.

Walk with caution, and flick your head back a few times.
Lenses cut edges which either adorn, or scorn on camera.

Guzzling fame, we only burn gaping holes in our stomachs.
Chimera guzzles the hungry, and we must morn on camera.

Sea Fever

A thousand miles beyond this sun-steeped wall
Somewhere the waves creep cool along the sand,
The ebbing tide forsakes the listless land
With the old murmur, long and musical;
The windy waves mount up and curve and fall,
And round the rocks the foam blows up like snow,--
Tho' I am inland far, I hear and know,
For I was born the sea's eternal thrall.
I would that I were there and over me
The cold insistence of the tide would roll,
Quenching this burning thing men call the soul,--
Then with the ebbing I should drift and be
Less than the smallest shell along the shoal,
Less than the sea-gulls calling to the sea.
~~Sea Longing
Sara Teasdale


Sea feaver caused Dams and I to hit up the East coast and catch the sunrise (just what my soul needed), made Isaiah 60 strike in a much deeper way.

Isaiah 60
The Future Glory of Israel
1 Arise, shine, for your light has come,
and the glory of the Lord has risen upon you.
2For behold, darkness shall cover the earth,
and thick darkness the peoples;
but the Lord will arise upon you,
and His glory will be seen upon you.
3And nations shall come to your light,
and kings to the brightness of your rising.
4Lift up your eyes all around, and see;
they all gather together, they come to you;
your sons shall come from afar,
and your daughters shall be carried on the hip.
5Then you shall see and be radiant;
your heart shall thrill and exult,
because the abundance of the sea shall be turned to you,
the wealth of the nations shall come to you.
6A multitude of camels shall cover you,
the young camels of Midian and Ephah;
all those from Sheba shall come.
They shall bring gold and frankincense,
and shall bring good news, the praises of the Lord.
7All the flocks of Kedar shall be gathered to you;
the rams of Nebaioth shall minister to you;
they shall come up with acceptance on my altar,
and I will beautify my beautiful house.
8Who are these that fly like a cloud,
and like doves to their windows?
9For the coastlands shall hope for me,
the ships of Tarshish first,
to bring your children from afar,
their silver and gold with them,
for the name of the Lord your God,
and for the Holy One of Israel,
because he has made you beautiful.
10 Foreigners shall build up your walls,
and their kings shall minister to you;
for in my wrath I struck you,
but in my favor I have had mercy on you.
11Your gates shall be open continually;
day and night they shall not be shut,
that people may bring to you the wealth of the nations,
with their kings led in procession.
12For the nation and kingdom
that will not serve you shall perish;
those nations shall be utterly laid waste.
13The glory of Lebanon shall come to you,
the cypress, the plane, and the pine,
to beautify the place of my sanctuary,
and I will make the place of my feet glorious.
14The sons of those who afflicted you
shall come bending low to you,
and all who despised you
shall bow down at your feet;
they shall call you the City of the Lord,
the Zion of the Holy One of Israel.
15Whereas you have been forsaken and hated,
with no one passing through,
I will make you majestic forever,
a joy from age to age.
16 You shall suck the milk of nations;
you shall nurse at the breast of kings;
and you shall know that I, the Lord, am your Savior
and your Redeemer, the Mighty One of Jacob.
17Instead of bronze I will bring gold,
and instead of iron I will bring silver;
instead of wood, bronze,
instead of stones, iron.
I will make your overseers peace
and your taskmasters righteousness.
18 Violence shall no more be heard in your land,
devastation or destruction within your borders;
you shall call your walls Salvation,
and your gates Praise.
19 The sun shall be no more
your light by day,
nor for brightness shall the moon
give you light;
but the Lord will be your everlasting light,
and your God will be your glory.
20Your sun shall no more go down,
nor your moon withdraw itself;
for the Lord will be your everlasting light,
and your days of mourning shall be ended.
21Your people shall all be righteous;
they shall possess the land forever,
the branch of my planting, the work of my hands,
that I might be glorified.
22The least one shall become a clan,
and the smallest one a mighty nation;
I am the Lord;
in its time I will hasten it.

"So when God desired to show more convincingly to the heirs of the promise the unchangeable character of his purpose, He guaranteed it with an oath, so that by two unchangeable things, in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled for refuge might have strong encouragement to hold fast to the hope set before us. We have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul..." ~Hebrews 6:17-19

How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
If I would count them, they are more than the grains of the sand.
I awake, and I am still with you.
~Psalm 139:17-18


Jeremiah 5:22
22 Do you not fear me? declares the Lord.
Do you not tremble before me?
I placed the sand as the boundary for the sea,
a perpetual barrier that it cannot pass;
though the waves toss, they cannot prevail;
though they roar, they cannot pass over it.



And just for fun...

Fredrick the Pretentious Seagull!

"A bosom friend-an intimate friend, you know-a really kindred spirit to whom I can confide my inmost soul. I've dreamed of meeting her all my life."

Happy Birthday my dear "Diana!"

Here's to the past ten years...

"Wesley, we're so old!!! What are we going to do!" "Get older?" * Abby's evil plot: wear a hair scrunchie that's not a scrunchie but cut tights * I'm a swan and you're a Canadian goose * Evergreen * I ate too many cherries * Got razor? * 'Cannot Display Page': the story of my life * EVERY HAIR ON MY BODY * We have fun without the fun... with the fun! * She's married and she's climbing trees! * Down to earth not down to dirt * I feel unusual and unsettled * And after we are martyred we shall become Saint Abby and Saint Wesley * And the lights aren’t even out yet! * Bubble bath = Diana getting drunk * What are words when we can have unawkward silences?! * I’m not kidding, get paper! * Our conversations are more awkward than our silences. But our awkward conversations aren't awkward at all! * You’re my freak so it's ok * It does have an appealing aspect * I'd be a lot more submissive if I could slay dragons. * American Restoration: it's time for change! it will happen! youtube here we come…or maybe we should just become “teachers” * Because of course my dear, the Chinese only negotiate on horseback on the moon. * The “ah, ah, ah!” revelation that is the green tea frap! After a venti, we’ll be able to use to force! * MOOWAHH! * She’s married and she’s climbing trees! * Chinese food * Belting Phantom * Yawns: prehistoric man call for bed time * Certain types of coral * You might turn a gay guy straight, but you can’t turn a straight girl gay * Paaaaaast the point of feeeeling bad! * Lama coma coma! * The mirror is smooth! * Snow fairies…the queen of the snow fairies…dirty paper snow fairies… * “Do you have pixie dust in your hair?”…”Do you have pixie dust in your brain?” * I taped the wrong toe!!!!!! * We are NOT putting that in our dance * Thumb tacks * You complete me * Male tendencies * Abducted ice cream * THIS IS A WHALE! [smack] A WHAT? * Doughnuts and coffee at midnight * apple and cheese omelettes with mac and cheese * Have you seen this one? It’s my favorite. I love the part when she finds the prince and lives happily ever after, I cry every time * It was written by a woman! * Peanut butter and jelly * Makeshift costume * Let me explain through interpretive dance: “My cell phone rang”… “I had to bring food for the class”… “and I had to go pee” * It’s sittin’ heavy on my stomach * Who makes this stuff?! * I’m sending you a death ray * Heel stretch * Unhealthy dose of cheese * French laugh * I bite my chip at you * Random bleeding * Meat and cake * I stepped in a puddle of ew * There's a shoe... and my foot's in it * Men=tall * This would be so romantic if you were a man * [Dramatic pause of anticipation] ...this cottage! * The world is dark, and peaceful, and smells slightly of produce * But you said Willie-Nate! * Have a pillow * Shall we indulge? * It's ingrained in our...NO! * Ice Queen * You're a goddess * Getting corky * Voodoo Valentines bear *abandon move* CONsume us! * Left-handed comrades. (^^^)

Walk

Walk
Hebrew- yalak: follow, cause, go, grow, make, march, prosper, spread.
Greek- peripateo: to live, deport oneself, follow, go, be occupied with.
[Strong's Concordance]

Walk in a manner worthy of the God who calls you into His own kingdom and glory. Walk humbly with your God. Walk carefully in wisdom. Walk in wisdom towards outsiders. Walk properly. Walk in a manner worthy of the Lord. Walk according to His commandments. Walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. Walk by the Spirit and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. Walk in newness of life. Walk by faith, not by sight. Walk in Jesus Christ as you have received Him. Walk in love as Christ loved us. Walk in the same way in which He walked. Walk in the light as He is in the light. Walk as children of the light. Walk while you have the light, least darkness overtake you. Walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called.

References:
Deut. 10:16
Micah 6:8
Col. 1:10
Col. 2:6
Col. 4:5
John 12:35
Romans 6:4
Romans 8:4
Romans 13:13
Eph. 4:1
Eph. 5:2
Eph. 5:8
Eph. 5:151
Thes. 2:12
2 Cor. 5:7
1 John 1:7
1 John 2:6
2 John 6
Gal. 5:16