Serve God love me and mend
This is not the end
Lived unbruised we are friends
And I'm sorry
I'm sorry
Sigh no more, no more
One foot in sea, one on shore
My heart was never pure
And you know me
And you know me
Oh man is a giddy thing...
Love it will not betray you, dismay or enslave you,
It will set you free
Be more like the man you were made to be.
There is a design,
An alignment to cry,
Of my heart to see,
The beauty of love as it was made to be
~Sigh No More, Mumford & Sons
Theme song of today much? Yup. Put into "pretty" words, I certainly do NOT see the beauty of love as it was made to be.
at. all.
There are so many places in my heart that should be gushing with love, but they're dead and rotting. Places I've suffocated so long, now I don't even know how to let God into them. It's as if they don't exist anymore.
The healing process requires pain. I get that. It's even in the Lion King (which I watched today). Simba flees through briars, Rafiki brings him back through briars to face his father's image. Simba is in a field at night when his father promises to be with him always, Simba returns to a field at night when his father's spirit confronts him. Laugh if you want. It makes sense to me. God brings us back to the place of pain in order to heal the hurt.
I'm not afraid of pain. I don't push God away because I know it will hurt. It's more like I no longer have a place to let him into- it's dead.
But I'm saying this about a God who raises the dead.
"That is why it depends on faith, in order that the promise may rest on grace and be guaranteed to all his offspring—not only to the adherent of the law but also to the one who shares the faith of Abraham, who is the father of us all, as it is written, "I have made you the father of many nations"—in the presence of the God in whom he believed, who gives life to the dead and calls into existence the things that do not exist. In hope he believed against hope, that he should become the father of many nations, as he had been told, "So shall your offspring be." He did not weaken in faith when he considered his own body, which was as good as dead, since he was about a hundred years old, or when he considered the barrenness of Sarah’s womb. No distrust made him waver concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, fully convinced that God was able to do what he had promised." ~Romans 4:16-21.
God can, and will raise what is dead in me.
"For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death." ~Romans 8:2. Gotta be honest, "free" is about the farthest thing from how I feel. I can't escape my sin. I don't know what living in freedom feels like, but it is not [this].
And there isn't a damn thing I can do about it.
But my God raises the dead and calls into existence things that do not exist.
So I wait.
and hope.
This is not the end
Lived unbruised we are friends
And I'm sorry
I'm sorry
Sigh no more, no more
One foot in sea, one on shore
My heart was never pure
And you know me
And you know me
Oh man is a giddy thing...
Love it will not betray you, dismay or enslave you,
It will set you free
Be more like the man you were made to be.
There is a design,
An alignment to cry,
Of my heart to see,
The beauty of love as it was made to be
~Sigh No More, Mumford & Sons
Theme song of today much? Yup. Put into "pretty" words, I certainly do NOT see the beauty of love as it was made to be.
at. all.
There are so many places in my heart that should be gushing with love, but they're dead and rotting. Places I've suffocated so long, now I don't even know how to let God into them. It's as if they don't exist anymore.
The healing process requires pain. I get that. It's even in the Lion King (which I watched today). Simba flees through briars, Rafiki brings him back through briars to face his father's image. Simba is in a field at night when his father promises to be with him always, Simba returns to a field at night when his father's spirit confronts him. Laugh if you want. It makes sense to me. God brings us back to the place of pain in order to heal the hurt.
I'm not afraid of pain. I don't push God away because I know it will hurt. It's more like I no longer have a place to let him into- it's dead.
But I'm saying this about a God who raises the dead.
"That is why it depends on faith, in order that the promise may rest on grace and be guaranteed to all his offspring—not only to the adherent of the law but also to the one who shares the faith of Abraham, who is the father of us all, as it is written, "I have made you the father of many nations"—in the presence of the God in whom he believed, who gives life to the dead and calls into existence the things that do not exist. In hope he believed against hope, that he should become the father of many nations, as he had been told, "So shall your offspring be." He did not weaken in faith when he considered his own body, which was as good as dead, since he was about a hundred years old, or when he considered the barrenness of Sarah’s womb. No distrust made him waver concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, fully convinced that God was able to do what he had promised." ~Romans 4:16-21.
God can, and will raise what is dead in me.
"For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death." ~Romans 8:2. Gotta be honest, "free" is about the farthest thing from how I feel. I can't escape my sin. I don't know what living in freedom feels like, but it is not [this].
And there isn't a damn thing I can do about it.
But my God raises the dead and calls into existence things that do not exist.
So I wait.
and hope.
1 comment:
mmm.
all i can say is thank you!! for displaying God's redemptive work via your transparency. we're all broken & dead my dear...your gift with words serves me, as i am broken in a very similar way. i was struggling yesterday with thinking. i'm done with hurting! i don't see much healing & i think there's a problem with this process...
no! that's just the pain of circulation being restored to a dead numbed heart...help my unbelief, Lord!
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